Patience: A Reflection

I witnessed a very disturbing act today while sitting at Dunkin with Ryan. A man was growing very impatient with his elderly father and it broke my heart. He kept saying things like “Come on, dad” and “Geez” and I immediately wanted to cry and help the older gentleman. His son was being horrible to him and kept apologizing to his friends. There is nothing to apologize for. As I found myself growing angry and had to get out of there.

I know I am like for a number of reasons: I have lost so many in a short amount of time and but this comes from how I treated my mom when she was sick and doted on me and my dad literally 24/7 and I have a tendency to not be super compassionate at times. I regret how badly I spoke to her and now my memories are plagued with those regrets. Now that it’s just dad, I have grown conscious of how I speak to him and how I act. He’s hurting more than I am.

This posting is more bitchy than I had hoped as I don’t know what the man or his father are going through but I was upset by what I saw. I know what it’s like to be impatient with a parent and I wouldn’t wish this regret on anyone. It haunts me daily and if I could take it back, I would.

I know I was projecting my feelings to far into the situation, but I can’t help it. Now that I just have dad I have vowed to not regret my time with him. Time is precious. I feel bad that I got angry, but I wish everyone knew what I now know.